Schizophrenia

Experiences of Schizophrenia of a Mensa Member

Experiences of Schizophrenia

Hello, and welcome to this blog that I’ve started about my experiences with Schizophrenia.

I’ve started this because I wanted to document my experiences of Schizophrenia in a self-contained site, to help lessen the mysteries of what Schizophrenia is to others.

Hopefully, this can help build the knowledge of people about Schizophrenia, one of the many different types of mental illnesses, however one with a rich tapestry of subject matter that is so part of the illness.

Although I’m not too fussed about privacy, I am going to try and keep my own identity as private as possible, in order to minimise any real life impacts. Part of the nature of Schizophrenia from my perspective is paranoia, and I do have a healthy dose of paranoia when it comes to how sharing may affect my life.

However, I do have a bigger picture view of how sharing can have a positive impact to others, and hopefully help build knowledge to not only those with Schizophrenia, but also those without, so that there is greater knowledge among greater amounts of people, to help drive a push towards cures towards Schizophrenia, and if not cures, then at least a much more understanding world towards Schizophrenia.

A bit about me, without being specific. I am living in Melbourne, Australia, and my background is Sri Lankan. These very details impact the focal matter of my Schizophrenia, because a large amount of the episodes surrounds terrorism, which is part of what makes the stories that come out of my experience so dark, yet compellingly interesting. To assuage any concerns begin with, most of my terrorism focused episodes consist of me believing I am a counter-terrorist, which somehow is a manifestation of the fact that although I feel different on the surface, living in Australia as a minority, it manifests my love for being an Australian when the topic of terrorism comes into play during my Schizophrenia, that I would think I am somehow helping to decrease it, using my background as a advantage for being a ‘spy’ of sorts.

A little bit more about me, is that I joined Mensa as a member, after applying to sit the test for it last year. This preceded my fourth episode of illness, which I will go through in detail throughout this blog.

I was tested at an IQ score of 135, and my numeracy score is 141. Unfortunately, due to the misconceptions that mental illness has in the media, there is always the paranoia that people who don’t put much thought into things might not get past that those with Schizophrenia actually have a range of mental faculties just as the rest of the population does, let alone the fact that big portions of the media still think Schizophrenia is a split personality thing. So I included my IQ score in the title to give assurances that there would be a depth of thought to this blog about Schizophrenia, and with regards to my experiences with it.

So with that, I will start blogging over my lifetime about my experiences with Schizophrenia. When I write notes while I’m ill, I usually time stamp my notes, so I will take that idea, and use it for my blog, to make it more easily discerned with regards to it’s place in time. Time can be a very hard thing to pin down during episodes of illness, so the notes I write during my illness helps me to sort my thoughts, and the time stamps I place can help place some sense of order to the chaos that is Schizophrenia. Perhaps utilising that can create an order in the chaos that can be the writings of blogs.

22.37pm 31/05/2018

So down the rabbit hole of the fourth episode we go …

So it has taken me a while to warm up to the idea, because there is so much inflammatory stuff written while I was ill.

However, in order to get to the heart of my illness of Schizophrenia, it’s important to copy in as much of my notes in as possible from when I fell ill. I will take personal items out, such as my name, etc.

So as a way of getting in material about my Schizophrenia, I’ll be copying in the notes I wrote while I fell ill during my fourth episode of illness, which started on the 14th of June 2017, and ended on about the 6th of November 2017.

Hopefully, this will be a behind the curtains look into the mind of Schizophrenia. The best way I could describe it, is that it is like dreaming, except you are doing it awake, and everything that goes on around you can feed into the ‘waking dreams’ you have during your Schizophrenia. I’m hoping this can help lessen the mysteries of Schizophrenia in ways I might not even be able to fathom as of yet, as any information can lead to breakthroughs that can lessen Schizophrenia, whether that is with regards to stigma, or with regards to cures for Schizophrenia.

One thing to note is that the most prominent symptom I have that affects me during my illness are Thought Insertions. These are like hearing your own thoughts – except the thoughts seem to be coming from somewhere else originally and from different people. You can talk back to these thought insertions using your own thoughts, but they can be extremely abusive – one word in particular that is the worst for me is the word ‘Paedophile’, which is hard for me to stomach when I love children. You try to avoid these thought insertions and others, but they keep coming at you, constantly and incessantly – and the OCD of trying to avoid it makes it come even more frequently.

I don’t hear voices or what are called auditory hallucinations, however the Thought Insertions more than make up for the absence of auditory hallucinations or visual hallucinations.

So please find in the next post the start of my notes that I wrote while I was ill last year in 2017.

15.53pm 27/06/2018

14th June 2017 to 15th June 2017 – Day 1 and Day 2 of Fourth Episode of Schizophrenia illness

14/06/17 – Written 15/06/17 ~10.01pm

 

So today started with me taking a walk during work, trying to use mindfulness to get myself in touch with reality.

 

While walking, I was thinking about the weekend I had with my friends at Point Lonsdale.

 

I did not go to sleep til 4am.

 

———————————————–

15/06/17 – Written 15/06/17 ~10.02pm

 

So today things got worse. However, I was able to do my work.

However, I did not park my car properly in the evening when I drove to Coles to buy orange juice, chicken and up and go. I realised that I was starting to lose touch with being mindful of my senses, because I could not sense that I had not parked my car fully towards the curb at the inner side of the car park.

———————————————————————————————-

[Written Day 2 – 15/06/17]

If I ever became a minister of the Australian Parliament, my speech where I introduce myself to the parliament would definitely include:

  • That I was born out of the 1983 riots, and how Sri Lankan Tamils were persecuted by Sri Lankan Sinhalese, and that’s the reason why I came to Australia.
  • That my Dad abused my Mother, and it shaped who I am as a person.

The biggest problem would be not forgetting to do this.

——————————————————————

[Written Day 2 – 15/06/17]

The complexity of the world:

 

The world is filled with four types of homes.

Bitter.

Loved.

Naïve.

Dead.

Bitter homes are filled with money, but no love.

Loved homes are filled with love, but no money.

 

Naïve homes are filled with love, and money.

 

Dead homes are filled with no money, and no love.

 

Bitter homes give rise to children who take out their insecurities on children who rise from loved homes.

 

Bitter children who lose their money become dead children.

 

Loved children who gain money become naïve children.

 

Naivety gives rise to a loss of love, and can lead to bitterness.

 

Children who are dead inside, but find life again, leads to being filled with love.

 

And so the cycle continues in how the complexity of the world plays out in this world.

 

 


 

 

 

16th June to 17th June 2017

16/07/17 – Written 17/07/17 ~3.19am

 

Today I realised I’m not truly ill.

——————————

17/06/17 – Written 17/06/17 ~3.21am

 

Today I realised World War 3 is upon us, any day soon.

——————————————–

[Written 17/06/17]

Notable Indian American entertainers excluding sportspeople:

  • Kal Penn
  • Dev Patel
  • Raj Patel
  • Priyanka Chopra
  • Tom from Parks and Recreation
  • Nav
  • Zayn Malik
  • Girl from The Office

 


[Written 17/06/18]

[[ Author note – this is when it starts to get haywire – just copying down what I wrote as is, as Race is a big theme in my delusions due to my own minority race – and having copied this down, this is not how I feel normally; I am egalitarian, and these were influenced by my paranoia of North Korea and Communism.

Also, there is a lot I feel would have to be explained – but it goes down to the delusions of paranoia of my illness]]

The order of world power at the moment as it is:

  1. White
  2. Asian
  3. Black
  4. Islanders
  5. Curries
  6. Hispanics
  7. Arabs

 

The order of world power in terms of white privilege:

  1. White
  2. Asian
  3. Hispanics
  4. Arabs
  5. Islanders
  6. Curries
  7. Black

 

The order of world power in terms of black privilege:

  1. Black
  2. Curries
  3. Islanders
  4. Arabs
  5. Hispanics
  6. Asian
  7. White

 

Averages White Privilege:

  1. White – 1
  2. Asian – 2
  3. Hispanics and Islanders – 4.5
  4. Hispanics and Islanders – 4.5
  5. Black – 5
  6. Arabs and Curries – 5.5
  7. Arabs and Curries – 5.5

 

Average Total:

  1. White – 3
  2. Asian – 3.33
  3. Black – 3.67
  4. Islander – 4
  5. Curries – 4.33
  6. Hispanics – 4.67
  7. Arabs – 5

 

Average Black Privilege:

  1. Black – 2
  2. Curries and Islanders – 3.5
  3. Curries and Islanders – 3.5
  4. Asian and White – 4
  5. Asian and White – 4
  6. Arabs and Hispanics – 5.5
  7. Arabs and Hispanics – 5.5

 

The order of how I feel towards each race:

  1. Curries
  2. Hispanics
  3. Black
  4. Islanders
  5. White
  6. Arabs
  7. Asian

18th June to 19th June 2017

My thoughts on President Obama – Written 18.06.17 7.52PM

Obama symbolised to me that he is a part of the reason for the genocide of the Sri Lankan Tamils during 2009, potentially onwards.

 

He did not give more than a few iotas with regards to the Sri Lankan Tamil before becoming President.

 

‘Open Sesame’ – Eva Longoria is dead to me.

 

And that’s all I need to know about President Obama.

 

President Obama is dead to me.

—————————————

[[Writer note – the best way I could describe these images were like, you know how when you dream, sometime you see moving pictures? Well, I see these sometimes, including at this point, where if I close my eyelids, I could see cartoonish colourful moving pictures]]

Symbols written 10.33pm 18th June 2017

Images:

  • People
  • White people family guy
  • White knight
  • Planes
  • Planes
  • Planes
  • Nuclear missile
  • Planes
  • Nuclear bomb
  • Rainbow [to which I related to]
  • Ok sign in rainbow [after I related to rainbow]
  • Cards
  • A [might be meaning ‘a-ok’]
  • Bubbles
  • Eye
  • Grand Canyon [after which I related to caring about America having it’s eyes on me]
  • Alien
  • Star Wars
  • September 11
  • Quick change like sand pouring, went from building to house
  • More sand
  • Ring incomplete, with 75 degrees of the circle incomplete
  • Changed to Pi symbol

 


 

Written 18/06/18

Headhunter List

 

Description: This is a list of people I’ll have to use my influence to kill when I have the power to push the buttons to have that happen, because they have the potential to become Osama Bin Laden or Adolf Hitler, and they know too much.

 

List:

[[Writer note – had one name written, but was taken out even when I was ill, but the essence of it is here, which is the scary part to me now]]

————————————-

Written 19/06/17

Love is respecting a person’s choices of friends, even though they may be racist

————————

My delusional disorder thoughts 19/06/17 ~1.00pm to 2.11pm

 

I fuck [[blanked]] because I love God above anyone and anything else.

 

Paedophilia.

 

Persecution.

 

Does God have an influence over the world if children are being fucked by paedophiles?

 

I don’t believe God would have any influence over the world if paedophiles are fucking children, because God so loved the children of the world, that he gave his only son Jesus Christ.

 

Do world leaders have influence over a world where paedophiles are fucking children?

Yes they do.

 

But do they have the power to stop paedophiles fucking children, or the control to stop each and every paedophile fucking children?

 

They don’t have this power or control on a micro level.

 

However, on a macro level, they have the power to decrease the rate of paedophiles fucking children.

 

And by using their power on a macro level, this would lead to a greater number of paedophiles being stopped from fucking children, than if they were to do this on a micro level.

 

If they were to go down the micro level for example, and shoot one paedophile dead, then the law would send them to jail, and they would lose the power to decrease paedophiles fucking children on a macro level.

 

However, on a macro level, if they were to use their power to set a domino effect that would stop paedophiles from fucking children, then they would be able to increase the rate of how many paedophiles they can stop from fucking children, on a very dramatically increased rate as compared to how many paedophiles they can stop from fucking children, if they were to shoot paedophiles who fuck children in a manner that those paedophiles fucking children would die.

 

If I were a world leader, I could not give signs to the past that would potentially meddle with people’s lives, if I had the power to gives signs to people in the past through communication that occurs between the period of time that the world leaders is communicating the sign, and the period of time to which the person the world leader is sending a sign to in the past is existing in.

 

Because if I were to use this power as a world leader for bad, and send signs to people in the past because of my hatred of those people, then it would mean that I have prioritised my hatred of those people over my love for God.

 

And as Jesus said, above all else, the number one rule is to love God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.

 

If I prioritised my hatred for people over my love for God, then it means that I don’t have faith in God, because it would tarnish my belief that the number one rule that Jesus said is that I should love God with all my heart, all my soul, and all my mind.

 

And if I don’t have faith in God, that means I don’t believe in God.

 

If I didn’t believe in God, that would mean that that there is no heaven or hell.

 

It would mean that there would be no eternity tomorrow, after we spend this day on Earth, because compared to the eternity that exists after we die in heaven or hell, our lives here on earth, for as many years they will be, is akin to being just a day as compared to the eternity tomorrow.

 

Which would mean that the Sri Lankan Tamil people who were killed in the 2009 genocide; for example, would have no eternity tomorrow after this day here on Earth.

 

Thus I could not give signs to the past as a world leader to attempt to decrease the rate of paedophiles fucking children.

 

Because I know if I had this power, I would have the temptation to use this power to gain vindication over the people I have hatred towards.

 

And once I failed to my potential temptation, I would not only lose my faith in God, but I would also believe that there would be no justice tomorrow in eternity, after this day here on Earth, for; among all other things; the Sri Lankan Tamil people, and for the children who are fucked by paedophiles.

———————————–

20th June to 28th June

Written 20th June 2017

Prince Harry is kewl. Prince William and [Blank] are not.

—————————-

Written 24th June 2017, [[writer – updated later on as well as seen by time stamp]]

Vote:

 

  1. USA voted for me because they had no spine to pull the trigger, and just wanted to appease their lobbyists because their lobbyists were for me, but USA wasn’t. Thus USA passed the baton on to the final vote.
  2. France voted against me because they had no spine.
  3. Germany voted for me because they wanted to pass on the baton to see what Russia would do.
  4. China voted against me because they had no spine, despite their lobbyists who were supporting me.
  5. Russia voted for me.

 

Thus, if there was a Mexican standoff between leaders, and I could use my two hands, one gun per hand, my hands would be pointed at China and USA, in that order, because Russia was the reason I was the constant til I became Prime Minister of Australia.

 

I’m pretty much Russia’s baby, because they are the reason I was the constant to the time I became Prime Minister. Then it is all cards on the table again.

 

Russia is smart but sad, and that’s the feeling I have too.

 

 

 

This is a stupid ploy by the British Monarchy to scare people, into submission to the British Monarchy, because there is no such thing as future timelines.

 

I’d be smashing vases on future timelines, because there is no such thing.

 

You can’t change the future, but you can make the future.

 

History is history, and what will be history, will become history one day.

 

23.28pm 05/08/2017

——————————————————-

28/06/17: Written 11.19am to 11.22am

 

Something about Bashar Al-Assad, chemical warfare, Mohammed Ali ‘Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee’, Trump is Hitler, etc.

 

This is the moment Waleed Aly realised that WW3 is coming very very soon, looking at the context of all the stuff happening in the world right now, with the messages I’ve been getting from the future – eg. the symbols, such as the number 4, the aeroplane jelly etc.

 

This is the moment where the Wright brothers story came up.

 

1.10pm is the moment I had the wow realisation that Waleed Aly is a terrorist – eg. the word ISIS, the we interrupt this transmission, the moment I played the song wow, sometime after the song ‘You Could be Happy’, the moment where Waleed Aly said that I smiled too, and I asked ‘How bouh u’; and there was this large pause after that, cause he asked that after he paused after the I wrote down the elaboration to ‘ears’, and that we people can hear the sounds that we listen to through our ears, which is when he realised that he was screwed, probably cause he realised that he had been observed for a long time, and the story of when he tagged the word ‘screwed’ while I was writing this.

———————————————-

  • Send letters forward [Communicating to the future like this]
  • Send Letters backwards [Communicating to the past like this]
  • In your mind, tuning [can read thoughts]
  • Shotgun Thinking, Shotgun Feeling [thought insertion]
  • Close eyed Visions [seeing images that are crystal clear and have meaning to them]
  • Weather [the weather can be controlled]
  • Time [time can be stopped, etc]
  • Angles [our lives can be viewed from any angles]
  • Plotting is bullshit. [there is no such thing as timelines – doesn’t make sense, eg. entropy]
  • Letters can be sent backwards from the future. [communicating to the past like this]
  • Inner body experience, read bodies like a story from birth to death. [our lives can be experienced with all the experiences of the senses, and can be read from birth to death]
  • Ears [our lives can be experienced with all the experiences of the senses, including the sense of sound through our ears]
  • Pass Auditing February 20th
  • Pass Financial Accounting June
  • Move out of this unit in April, lease ends April 28th
  • Get off the drugs [[Writers note – medications]]
  • Pass Capstone
  • Birthday party September 6th
  • Ask out [Blank] September 26th
  • Mahinda Rajapakse lost January 8th
  • Danish Monarchy next monarchy to be abdicated
  • British monarchy will be abdicated during King William’s time
  • George will never be a King, but will be a delightful person. He will live in Albuquerque Canada in his senior years.
  • China will become the next leading economy
  • Career: I become a senior 1 in October 2015, Senior 3 in October 2016, Manager 1 in October 2017 and Manager 1 in October 2018. I leave EY between October 2018 and October 2019.
  • I become a Group Accountant after this. It is boring to watch for a long time, but I like boring.
  • I have a quick succession of good career moves, and become CEO.
  • I become the first CEO to become Prime Minister of Australia.
  • Liberal become decimated by 2045.
  • Labor become the new right.
  • Greens become the new left.
  • I am Prime Minister between 2045 to 2051.
  • I play golf after Prime Ministership, I don’t get that. I just want to dance. I presume it is due to networking opportunities.
  • I go travelling a lot during CEO time?
  • I am a Prime Minister for women, paving the way for them in a man’s world [The Script].
  • Amy Winehouse is the best.
  • Eva 4 ever.
  • I have two kids before 40, the oldest a girl, the youngest a boy. The boy looks more like me than [Blank] when he becomes an adult.
  • I live to 101, in 2087.
  • Sri Lanka become full of sluts.
  • Mexico has a golden age.

 

  • Eva gets married after age 39, not sure when
  • Eva’s first child is a son [the ‘[blank]’, also the ‘Barney’, but the second child is the original ‘Barney’]
  • Eva’s second child is a daughter [the ‘Barney’]

 

  • My timeline dates are not exact, apparently delayed 12 months

 

  • A3 in Oct 2015
  • S1 in Oct 2016
  • S2 in Oct 2017
  • S3 in Oct 2018
  • M1 in Oct 2019
  • M1 in Oct 2020
  • REA Group after Oct 2020, not sure when
  • Marriage in 2020
  • Two kids before 40, one at 38
  • Ask out in 2016 Octoberish

————————————————–

29th June to 30th June

The story of how [[blank – writer’s name]] nukes Beijing, China:

 

  • Becomes Prime Minister for one term
  • Is the reason why the democratic alliance pull the trigger and nuke Beijing China
  • Why?
    • Northern China is more militant
    • Beijing is the biggest city – chasing paper over life experiences
    • Smaller cities, like in USA, are chasing life experiences more than paper
    • Communist Party in China’s id is getting seriously out of control
    • The flip side of the coin of paper chasing, id-crazy, militant Communist China is the China who are life experience chasing, super-ego rational, peaceful Christian China.
    • The biggest population of Christians in the world is in China.
    • To protect against the bullies of Communism in China towards those China bullies, Militant Communist China needs to be nuked to maximum effect.
    • Thus democratic China will be liberated.
    • Thus this is how [[Blank – writer’s name]] loves the children of china, from birth to passing to Christ, more than the bullies of Communist China.
  • Becomes Prime Minister at about the age of 60.
  • The key strategy of coping with this is to spread love as much as I can until I pass over to Christ.

 

10.01pm 29/06/2017

—————————————-

The Story of how people are going to be really angry with me:

 

MB – Mattel brothers

 

The story of white hat hackers versus black hat hackers;

Black hat hackers are people who hack people to do bad stuff

 

White hat hackers are people who hack people to do good stuff

 

This story is easy, colour hat hackers are common knowledge

 

 

The story of four letter writers with as much chalk as possible:

 

[Blank[ sends a letter from the future that [Blank] and [Blank] are married and have kids

 

Present [Blank – writer’s name] receives that letter from future [Blank] that [Blank] and [Blank] are married and have kids.

 

Present [Blank – writer’s name] sends a letter to past [Blank] and past [Blank] at that time that [Blank] and [Blank] will be married and have kids.

 

Past [Blank] and past [Blank] at that time pass the message to past [Blank – writer’s name] at that time that [Blank] and [Blank] will be married and have kids in the future.

 

Present [blank – writer’s name] remembers this message that past [blank – writer’s name] at that time received from past [blank] at that time and past [blank] at that time.

 

Present [Blank – writer’s name] passes the message back to past [blank] at that time and past [blank] at that time that [blank – writer’s name]is in love with [blank], [blank] is in love with [blank], and [blank] is in love with [blank].

[blank – writer’s name] had an idea cause of the facebook script.

 

Present [blank – writer’s name] has been receiving letters from the future that future [blank – writer’s name] marries future [blank] and has two kids, a daughter first, and then a son. Present [blank – writer’s name] also has been receiving letters that future [blank – writer’s name] is going to become Prime Minister of Australia, while in the Greens party, at the age of 60 [?]. And as everyone knows, [blank – writer’s name] has very little interest in politics, and likes to party.

 

So the advices I was trying to give was that I know that know the last line of the story book can be a huge weight on your shoulders, but the trick is to just have fun and do whatever you want, because just like that simpsons episode where homer keeps running into the same last line of the book of his future no matter what he does, you guys can do whatever you want, but you’ll always end up with the last line of the book at a point in time that future [blank] and future [blank] are married and have kids. S.

 

Thus, a month a ago, I wasn’t in love with anyone, 2 months ago, I was in love with [blank].

 

Now I am in love with [blank], [blank] is in love with [blank], [blank] is in love with [blank].

 

At one point in this love triangle, there were 0 people in love. Then at one point there would have been 1, then 2, then 3, then 2, then 1, then 0, then 1, then 2, then 3, then 2, then 1, then 0, then 1, then 2; and that’s where it ends. Think of that little numbers story like a metaphor.

 

Just like letters have been sent back and forwards – Osama Bin Laden and ISIS have been tuning into my head and sending letters back and forward since 2009.

 

Am I a terrorist? No. Even though I support the Tamil Tigers, who before 2001 were called freedom fighters in Sri Lanka, and after September 11 2001 were called terrorists, I am a freedom fighter, not a terrorist.

———————————–

Written 30th June 2017 [[writer’s note – had the images again here]]

The story of images:

 

  • The drowning baby
  • The Paddington bear
  • The fan

 

All three in an instance after each other, one after the other, with segueing between the three.

 

This means that I have been communicating to [blank], [blank] and [blank] here on earth while they were in a place we may go to after our soul leaves our flesh, after our flesh’s mitochondria stop’s ticking.

 

Everyone til mitochondria stops is a baby. I’ve been speaking to a lot of people from those other places.

———————————–

Written 30th June 2017

What is Love?

 

A crush is when a person is in love with another person, but there is no consent to a relationship, where the consent has been obtained in person.

 

A one-sided crush is when one person is in love with another person, but the other person is not in love with that person.

 

A mutual crush is when one person is in love with another person, and the other person is in love with that other person, but there is no consent to a relationship that has been obtained in person.

 

Love is when a person is in love with another person, the other person is in love with that person, and there has been consent obtained in person to be in a relationship.

———————–

1st July to 4th July 2017

Written 1st July 2017

Which US state [blank – writer’s name] would nuke first in World War 3:

1. Mississipi

————————-

How Princess Diana died: 6.04pm 02/07/17 to 6.06pm 02/07/17

 

  • Prince Charles developed the weapon to kill Princess Diana
  • Camilla Parker Bowles extended on developing this weapon
  • Queen Elizabeth pulled the trigger of the weapon

 

Notations on confirmation of George Bush Junior’s September 11 money making conspiracy:

  • Jesus caught James Comey
  • Jesus caught ‘Taare Zameen Par’
  • Jesus caught ‘3 Idiots’
  • Jesus caught the writing gesture while I left the mirror as in James Comey was catching that, to confirm George Bush Junior’s September 11 money making conspiracy
  • Jesus caught Nick Brown from Survivor Australia, the American version of Survivor
  • Catching James Comey’s surprise as to how does [blank – writer’s name] know about the George Bush Junior’s September 11 conspiracy
  • Jesus caught the word ranking
  • Jesus caught ‘Survivor’
  • Jesus elaborated with reference to the song ‘I’m a Survivor’
  • Jesus caught the feather
  • Jesus caught ‘The Amazing Race’
  • Jesus caught the 1 + 1 = what? Windows? Or 2?

 

Also caught:

  • James Comey’s emotions as to that his parents taught him to go through every detail
  • That James Comey is an ISTJ, like [blank]
  • The fact that I caught that James Comey is an ISTJ like [blank] is what caught him off guard
  • The fact that James Comey was testing my thoughts on the word of God
  • The fact that the ‘student’ had become the ‘master’ when it came to the fact that Love yourself as you love others means that if others want to kill you, then it means that you must love others as you love yourself, and kill those others.
  • The fact that James Comey was angry that I was using the second commandment of God to suggest that I am probably one of the only ones in this world who would have the guts to nuke the United States of America if I wanted to, starting with Jackson Mississipi, or between Jackson Mississippi, or Rankin Mississippi, depending on how far the impact of the nuclear bomb would affect.
  • The fact that James Comey and everyone during the trial of James Comey over the leaking of a particular memo regarding Donald Trump were surprised as to how did [blank – writer’s name] know about George Bush Junior’s September 11 money making conspiracy
  • The fact that James Comey and his associates were trying to pin the blame of the leak on Barack Obama
  • The fact that Jesus said that he knows all, he sees all
  • The fact that James Comey didn’t believe that it was Jesus, and called himself an atheist
  • The fact that James Comey used the word guys to say that he has guys too, just because I edited the word guts to guys – which further confirms George Bush Junior’s September 11 money making scheme
  • The fact that James Comey used the word didgeridoo to refer to the fact that I misspelled the word too as to, and then added an ‘o’, which then confirms the fact that he is butt-hurt about the fact that I was thinking during the shower when all this happened that I thought what a bunch of fucking idiots, wasting all their years just to try and edit a few seconds of my own moments
  • The secret handshake thing between me and James Comey, eg. the pinkie finger, the ‘hold my hands and we’ll survive’ song
  • The James Comey thing about that was it? Where James Comey said ‘that was it?’
  • The whole grilling of James Comey because they weren’t sure who the leak was
  • The whole Survivor and The Amazing Race was the mother and father etc.
  • The whole James Comey referring to the extra sound that sounded like a duck during the Amazing Race theme song playing as being like his threat to me, eg. the word ‘dudder’, dead
  • The whole three idiots, then four idiots, being [blank – writer’s name], James Comey, the female Democratic senator, and the male Republic senator with ginger hair
  • The whole James Comey’s threat to me about who would know about George Bush’s September 11 money making scheme, to which I replied confirmed
  • The whole thing about me confirming something at the same time as James Comey, with regards to the fact that we should love others as we love ourselves, and if others want to kill us, then we should love ourselves as we love others, and kill them.
  • The whole James Comey confirmed that they can hear what I can hear
  • The whole loop between James Comey and Waleed Aly about the ears thing
  • The whole thing about a conversation between James Comey and Waleed Aly
  • The whole Waleed Aly getting frustrated that I caught a moment by playing the Survivor theme song
  • The whole James Comey running a bus, or running over a bus, or James Comey’s exploding bus thing
  • The whole James Comey team thing, and that he is on George Bush Junior’s team, and thus he was using this to make a threat to Barack Obama’s supposed ‘team’, elaborating with the Twilight team thing. Caught out mate, James Comey 😉
  • The whole thing that James Comey has been on George Bush Junior’s side, trying to cover up George Bush Junior’s September 11 money making scheme.

 

1.04pm to 1.47pm 03/07/2017

 

3.19pm

 

  • The target of any nukes in the United States of America to strike at the heart of the New Hitler who will the President of the United States of America at some point while I am the Prime Minister of Australia between the ages of somewhere above 60 to somewhere below 75 is Utah. Why? Because the context is that during this time when the New Hitler of the United States of America, who is much worse than Trump, the whole context of the United States of America will be like how Germany was under Adolf Hitler during World War 2. Thus, Utah, with the religious fundamentalists in their state, would be the perfect place to strike a nuke, to reduce the fundamentalist craze that would be occurring in the United States of America under the New Hitler. Also, since the craze would be driven by the racism from George Bush Junior’s September 11 setup money making scheme, then Utah would be perfect, because Utah has a 90% Caucasian population, which adds to the religious fundamentalism that drives George Bush Junior’s racist September 11 conspiracy money making scheme.

 

3.26pm 03/07/2017

 

4.19pm 03/07/2017

 

  • The Et tu Brute moment.
    • The moment where James Comey says Et Tu Brute to Donald Trump, and Trump say me, what the fuck? And then Trump says to Comey blah blah blah

 

11.03pm 03/07/2017

—————————————–

4.48pm to 11.27pm 03/07/2017

 

The search for the flashing pictures:

 

  • Either [blank – writer’s name], Trump or the New Hitler said ‘save me’
  • Either [blank – writer’s name], Trump or the New Hitler said ‘burn’

 

Scenarios:

  1. [blank – writer’s name] says save me, Trump says Burn
  2. [blank – writer’s name] says save me, New Hitler says Burn
  3. New Hitler says save me, [blank – writer’s name] says Burn
  4. New Hitler says save me, Trump says Burn
  5. Trump says save me, [blank – writer’s name] says Burn
  6. Trump says save me, New Hitler says Burn
  7. [blank – writer’s name] says save me, [blank – writer’s name] says Burn
  8. New Hitler says save me, New Hitler says Burn
  9. Trump says save me, Trump says Burn

 

Likely:

Trump said save me, then burn, then flashing pictures, etc blah blah blah. Then New Hitler said burn which was subtle like the ice fire, and when I read it the first time, it appeared the New Hitler was burning Trump, and the context was how I left that situation. Now I’m here trying to figure out if the flashing pictures that I thought of are there, to prove that it was Trump that said save me, etc, otherwise there is no proof of this scenario. This is because I’m trying to figure out whether the future Trump is with the New Adolf Hitler or not.

 

 

Possible:

  1. Trump says save me, New Hitler says Burn
  2. Trump says save me, Trump says Burn

 

More likely than less likely, but less likely than possible:

  1. New Hitler says save me, Trump says Burn
  2. New Hitler says save me, New Hitler says Burn

 

Less Likely:

  1. New Hitler says save me, [blank – writer’s name] says Burn
  2. Trump says save me, [blank – writer’s name] says Burn

 

 

Not Likely:

  1. [blank – writer’s name] says save me, Trump says Burn
  2. [blank – writer’s name] says save me, New Hitler says Burn
  3. [blank – writer’s name] says save me, [blank – writer’s name] says Burn

 

The flashing pictures indicate that I know that Trump is a sociopath, and that he has many faces, just like the flashing pictures in Survivor.

 

Thus I thought Joel in Survivor 1 was the flashing picture, and I was trying to show Trump that I was trying to figure out what Trump in the future was trying to say, with regards to the double eyebrows in the mirror.

 

There are only three people in this situation of the flashing pictures: Trump, [blank – writer’s name] and New Adolf Hitler.

 

I’m trying to figure out what Trump in the future is trying to say, to see if he is on the New Adolf Hitler side, or not.

 

So the order was, in approximate order:

  • Save me
  • Burn
  • Flashing pictures
  • Blah Blah Blah
  • Subtle burn like ice fire etc blah blah blah
  • Surprise

 

 

 

Possible proofs:

Michael Skupin

Kim

Lindsay

Teresa

Ethan Zohn

Kathy

Tammy

Jerri

Jenna M

Colby Donaldson

 

 

The story of how George W. Bush Junior created the nuke for Utah, and how his associates continually propagate the likelihood that Utah will be, and is nuked.

 

(Come back to check Lex)

 

The story of how both the USA and China are trying to blame [blank – writer’s name] for the nukes that happen in China first and then the USA.

 

Thus my nuke list in order is:

  1. Utah, United States of America
  2. Beijing, China
  3. Mississippi, United States of America.

 

By:

[blank – writer’s name].

 

Batter up.

 

The story about how those Comey Cunts are stupid about China, and how I chose China over the USA because of George Bush Junior and his cronies over their money making scheme by setting up September 11 with Osama Bin Laden.

 

2.36am 04/07/2017.

 

The story of the genuine versus the corrupt.

 

3.22am 04/07/2017

 

[blank – writer’s name]’s purpose for the rest of his life on Earth until his passing is to defeat the New Adolf Hitler – who is supposedly a person named ‘Daniel Day’.

 

19.28pm 04/07/2017

 

The Story of How I have to not listen to music until the 7th of July 2017 – or the 8th of July 2017, depending on when Teenage Dirtbag finishes playing. I’ll elaborate the result after the song finishes playing.

 

10.39pm 04/07/2017

 

The story of how the date is probably going to be the 8th of July 2017.

 

10.49pm 04/07/2017

5th July to 9th July 2017

The story of the seven golden people:

  • Barack Obama
  • [blank – writer’s name]
  • Ariana Grande
  • Brad Pitt
  • Clementine Ford
  • Jennifer Aniston
  • [blank]

 

05/07/17 01.58am

 

Rankings:

  1. Brad Pitt
  2. Clementine Ford
  3. Barack Obama
  4. [blank]
  5. [blank – writer’s name]
  6. Ariana Grande
  7. Jennifer Aniston

 

05/07/2017 15.31pm

 

Rankings switch:

  1. Brad Pitt
  2. Clementine Ford
  3. Barack Obama
  4. Ariana Grande
  5. [blank]
  6. [blank – writer’s name]
  7. Jennifer Aniston

 

05/07/2017 15.40pm

 

Rankings switch:

 

  1. Brad Pitt
  2. Clementine Ford
  3. Barack Obama
  4. [blank]
  5. [blank – writer’s name]
  6. Ariana Grande
  7. Jennifer Aniston

 

05/07/2016 16.19pm

 

 


My thoughts right now:

 

  • There are no such thing as timelines, because of entropy
  • In the future, there will be aliens
  • In the afterlife, Jesus/Satan/God can create timelines for us
  • What is history is history, and what will become history will be history at some point

 

12.07pm 07/07/2017

 

  • Satan is God, God is Satan
  • Satan/God is in charge of all the metaphors of the levels in the afterlife, or purgatory or whatever

 

12.17pm 07/07/2017

 

The people who I know of who will become Partners at EY are:

  • [blank]
  • [blank]
  • [blank]
  • [blank]

 

12.26pm 07/07/2017

 

Buy Coca Cola Amatil shares when the timing is right in both price of the shares, and my cash flow.

15.00pm 07/07/2017

 

The next lot of $2000 worth of shares bought in additional to the Telstra shares already owned currently has to be CCL – Coca Cola Amatil.

 

15.03pm 07/07/2017

 

A girl crying to her mummy.

 

16.53pm 07/07/2017

 

The understanding that the China vs USA war still goes on in the ‘A girl crying to her mummy’ section.

 

17.38pm 07/07/2017

 

Got it mate.

 

18.34pm 07/07/2017

 

Remember ‘Why’

 

19.34pm 07/07/2017

 

Was that my brother or my son? I’ll know with history, almost too easily.

 

21.40pm 07/07/2017

 

All I know is my brother and his family will be nulls.

 

21.51pm 07/07/2017

 

And all I know is that it definitely was not my son.

 

21.54pm 07/07/2017

 

My brother [blank] ends up getting divorced from [blank].

 

21.57pm 07/07/2017

 

And all I know is I will never love my brother’s children, etc.

 

21.58pm 07/07/2017

—————————–

Summary: 3.25pm 07/07/2017

 

  • Become Prime Minister of Australia above the age of 60 and to below the age of 75
  • WW4 is occurring when I become Prime Minister – the main players being China against the USA
  • USA nukes China first
  • China nukes USA second
  • After China nukes USA, this is where I do some things critical, I don’t know what, to galvanise the world against China
  • I am the Prime Minister of Australia when WW4 ceases
  • I live to above 90 years old, but pass to the afterlife before the age of 100.
  • Potentially my age of passing is 93, not exactly certain. Actually, I am certain – eg. ‘Cartoon Network’ from the word certain, eg. c is the first letter, n is the last letter, thus ‘Cartoon Network’. Also reverse CN, and you get NC, which you can extrapolate to ‘N2C’, like the lanning place I used to go to as a kids with friends to play the computer game ‘Counter-Strike’. Who cares about when you pass anyways, it’s all about the moments every nanosecond, not the final nanosecond, ‘cause that is only one nanosecond out of trillions of nanoseconds in our life.
  • [blank] lives past 80, but passes to the afterlife before the age of 90. I believe [blank] lives to the age of 84. I am certain, because when two people dance, it takes four feet to tap on the floor.
  • Between ages of ~88 to 93, I will be busy with children and grandchildren and even great-grandchildren potentially. I believe definitely one, but we’ll see. Not really bothered anyways, that’s not the point, just part of the process of sorting fiction from fact. Actually it is between the ages of 88 to 93.
  • First child is male, second child is female.
  • First child at 38, second child at 40.
  • Male child is a dickhead, marries a Caucasian, has a kid, but they get divorced. GFY male child.
  • Female child marries a Curry. GFY female child for being a racist.
  • Male child is an ESFJ. Actually wrong, an ENFJ. Actually wrong, an ESFJ.
  • Female child is an ISTJ. Actually wrong, an ISFJ.
  • 100% sure I will be Prime Minister if I become Prime Minister of Australia as part of the Greens party, 99% sure I will be Prime Minister if I become a Minister in the Australian Parliament as part of the Greens party, 98% sure I will become Prime Minister of Australia if I somehow become a member of a the Greens party – which doesn’t make sense right now because I have 1% interest in politics, and 99% interest in living life and having fun, 97% sure I will become Prime Minister of Australia if I have a second child with [blank], 96% sure I will become Prime Minister of Australia if I have a child with [blank], 95% sure I will become Prime Minister of Australia if I get married to [blank], 94% sure I will become Prime Minister of Australia if I move in with [blank], 93% sure I will become Prime Minister if I become the boyfriend of [blank] – ie. go steady with [blank], 51% sure I will become Prime Minister of Australia if I start dating [blank] regularly, currently 50% unsure I will become Prime Minister of Australia, a month ago I was 100% sure I would have nothing to do with Australian politics in the Australian Parliament. Still couldn’t really give a fuck – too busy trying to live life and have fun, but all these fuckers keep fucking around.
  • Become CFO of Telstra. Or possibly become CFO of another company. Po-tay-to Po-taa-to, who cares. I believe I become CFO of another company, if any company.
  • Become Treasurer for Australia through the Greens Party.
  • In an opening speech or whatever as a minister, I discuss the Sri Lankan Tamil experience in the 2009 genocide in Sri Lanka, and I discuss the abuse of women with reference to my Dad abusing my Mum.
  • World War 3 will be occurring very soon or so.
  • China is humiliated in World War 3.

 

18.33pm 07/07/2017

 

Split donations 50/50, first to Homelessness, then Sri Lankan Tamil people. Possibly more to homelessness.

 

15.48pm 08/07/2017

 

The children stories were mostly fiction created by my brother because he is a nazi cunt.

 

06.42am 09/07/2017

 

Actually, with regards to donations, I will focus donations with regards to bestowing mostly on Sri Lankan Tamil people, and then see what else from there.

 

06.48am 09/07/2017

 

I win the WSOP main event after I finish at Telstra, and while I’m in the process of being a Greens member or something.

 

06.50am 09/07/2017

———————————–

Written 9th July 2017

The Royal Family in the United Kingdom created a game to kill different royal lines from different countries in the past.

 

Kill = bang

 

It isn’t about parties, it is about our country that we live in together, because in this country together, we are one family.

 

You can do what you want, I can do what I want, we all have free will, let the cards fall as they may – or rather, let things happen as they happen as a consequence of each person’s actions.

—————————-

11th of July

Just a minute or two before 8.07pm 11/07/2017

 

I said that’s how I got Donald Trump, by acting.

 

Donald Trump said ‘aha’, and then said burn you, burn [blank], and then said a story about children, and said that this was the Red Keep blah blah blah.

 

What the fuck.

 

Context:

          James Comey

          Russia

          September 11 [‘conspiracy’ in Trump’s words, but actually a plot by George W Bush Junior – not plot in the sense of timelines are bullshit, but plot as in George W Bush Junior plotted with Osama Bin Laden to set up September 11 to burn lives in war to power his and his associate’s paper money or monetary means pursuit endeavours]

          Game of Thrones Red Keep episode, which I haven’t watched yet, up to season 2 at the start

 

 

I get the sense that this is just Donald Trump’s way of saying that he ‘killed’ the ‘king’, being that I am the ‘king’, but I want to see exactly what he means by this, because I have no clue why the Red Keep episode was supposedly good.

 

Cause in truth, I am Jon Snow, and Donald Trump is the eldest blonde son of Cersei Lannister.

 

20.15pm 11/07/2017

————————————-

My loyalties:

1.       Australia [me – writer’s name]

2.       USA [Barack Obama]

3.       Eelam [blank]

 

13.54pm 11/07/2017

 

1.       Australia [me – writer’s name]

2.       Eelam [blank]

3.       USA [Barack Obama]

 

21.07pm 11/07/2017

 

1.       Australia [me – writer’s name]

2.       Eelam [blank]

 

22.02pm 23/07/2017

 

1.       Australia [me – writer’s name]

2.       Eelam [blank]

3.       USA [Barack Obama]

 

05.44am 07/08/2017

 

I am a Sri Lankan Tamil Australian who is a spy for the United States of America.

 

03.01am 01/09/2017

 

[Blank], [Blank], [Blank], [Blank], [Blank], [Blank], [Blank], [Blank], [Blank], [Blank], [Blank], [Blank], The person who is the artist M.I.A. and the person who is the artist ZAYN are all spies for the United States of America as well.

 

03.09am 01/09/2017

 

I’m going to buy my first ring because I saw a ring that I thought was a really good steal, but also to show [blank] (not found yet) that people love her if she ever forgets that, because she is my love until she finds her loves, if she ever doesn’t feel loved. This applies to Eva Longoria (found), Blank (found), [Blank] (not found yet), [Blank] (found), [Blank] (?), Heidi Klum (found), Mila Kunis (found), Ariana Grande (found), Iggy Azalea (found), [Blank] (found), [Blank] (?), [Blank] (found), [Blank] (not found yet), [Blank] (found), [Blank] (?), [Blank] (?), [Blank] (?), [Blank] (?), [Blank] (found), [Blank] (found), [Blank] (found), Mathanhi Arulpragasam (found), [Blank] (?), Andrew O’ Keefe (?), [Blank] (found), [Blank] (found), Jennifer Aniston (?), Priyanka Chopra (not found yet), Jessica Alba (found).

 

04.47am 01/09/2017

 

I die on 23rd of October 2070 at the age of 84 years of age, after my 84th birthday on the 4th of September, 2070. The only people above who don’t outlive me are [Blank] (Lives to the age of 61, passes to the afterlife of a heart attack) and Barack Obama. Zayn Malik doesn’t pass to the afterlife of a heart attack, but outlives me, along with Andrew O’ Keefe, [Blank] and [Blank].

 

[Blank] is [Blank] love for eternity.

 

[Blank]  lives to 93 years of age. [Blank] attains at the very least a centenarian in age.

 

I will always stand on La Trobe Street at night.

 

05.52am 01/09/2017

 

I’m playing the long game. Even though I want to be single, if I get information that someone is going to be my partner, I play that long game, and go with that flow, whoever that flow may be, so that it minimises problems for me long term, and if I can help whoever that is find happiness as well over the long game, I’ll play for that too.

 

Whoever you are, you are giving me pain with a lot of random people at this time right now.

 

06.24am 01/09/2017